Last week I got an email with Hey Boo where you been in the subject line. First of all that might just be my fave subject line of all time and It was just what I needed to get back to sharing with you guys. I realized I had shut down and that defeats the purpose of this blog. I wanted to share what I am learning along the curves and dips of life. So to answer the question posed in that email, where have I been…here is the short answer, I have been obsessed with the home buying process. It is surprisingly long and arduous. Buying a home is listed in many sources as one of the biggest life events and I super didn’t understand why it was worded this way. Surely this was click bait or just an extra way to stir up drama. But as I near the end of this process I have to admit they are pretty correct. However, this post is not about that. This post is about respecting how you manage life-changing events: how you process things, giving yourself space to feel, and looking forward to bringing yourself through the fog of whatever life event you are going through. So how do these two things relate?
Quick story…When I was much younger I worked an advertising sales job. I had made this giant sale and a technicality made me have to give that sale to a senior sales person. That meant the commission I earned was taken away too. I was devastated. My boss at the time called me in the office, told me there was nothing I could do about it and said, “You can either be the kind of person that gets knocked down and get back up or you can be the person that let’s life bowl over you.” I was so upset and sad about losing the sale I had earned. I couldn’t just shake it off. I felt like she was saying that my way of processing this was weak.
I carried that conversation with me for years. I would fear that I wasn’t being enough of a “boss” if I didn’t quickly bounce back from a setback. I even took this into the home buying process. I knew this was going to be challenging but I wanted to be the best home buyer that ever was. I found my own properties, scoped the neighborhoods, tried to get my required paperwork back quick as a cat, but that did not keep problems from appearing in the process. I found myself basically in a hurry up and wait cycle. I was super ready to buy a home but being subject to lender rules paused the closing process and put me basically in limbo and there was nothing I could do. I gave my all and I was exhausted.
Matter of fact it felt like things were becoming more complicated. The next day, at a family dinner, someone hit my car and ran. As I was walking in from seeing the damage, my realtor called me sharing some info relating to the house. Things are always 911 emergencies when buying a house and he needed some documents signed right away. He was talking but I heard nothing. I was incredibly overwhelmed. I had to go home and continue packing and just couldn’t take much more. The next day was even worse! Life just seemed to have it out for me. I felt like burying myself in my bed and never coming out. Then I heard that comment from my old boss come up from the back of my mind. But for a change, instead of it making me feel weak, that comment made me really annoyed.
Here I was giving 150% and I was overwhelmed. That did not make me weak. That makes me human. I could be upset. I could take care of me and not worry about rushing to the next thing. I no longer believed the nonsense this woman spouted. This idea of being a boss lately can imply that you are superhuman and that is just not true. You can feel what you need to feel. Does that mean you never get up and move on? No. You honor your feelings, feel them and when you are able you move forward. That is where I am. I laughed the other day, as a blogger I hear people say they are going to take a social media break and they are afraid that, fearing if they do it will negatively impact their blog or their social media standing. Here I took a month break with no intention of doing so and guess what? Not much happened. A few of you lovelies sent messages and I super appreciate it, but I am sure not one of yall were late paying the rent because I didn’t post. I learned so much during this time. I guess my takeaway today is to honor your particular way of processing. You don’t have to live up to any cliched standard of life. You are not a boss if you are only #teamnosleep #teamnofeelings #teamwhatevernonsense. You are a boss by loving yourself, respecting yourself, honoring your process, and dusting yourself off as you can and moving to the next thing. That is being a real boss and not being led by crazy hashtags…Yeah I said it lol.
On a more personal note, I missed the heck out of you guys. I missed the facebook groups I participated in, and I missed shooting for my IG. I am bringing that old thang back, cuz I love it! I hope all is well with you and can’t wait to catch up on your comments and blogs as I have been so off the grid lately. I can’t wait to close on this house to tell you alllll the things I have learned about home buying, my new fave HGTV shows (I say shiplap a lot now), and I can’t wait to take you guys with me as I decorate and make this new house my home. xo you guys. I really missed ya.
xo Danie
Yes what is this business about #TeamNoSleep? How on EARTH are you supposed to be at your best and do your best when you’ve deprived your brain of fuel and energy? Whoever started that mess needs to keep quite for a looooong time cuz they out here giving folks wrinkles AND making them a danger to themselves and everyone on the road.
I’m so glad somebody said it because there’s a lot of pressure out here and we need to just stop, enjoy the moment, grieve the moment, and then move on. We’re only human and we just CAN’T all the time like some type of robot. This blog was soothing and I will print it out or bookmark it, one.
Chlo
Author
Awww thanks Chloey! That no sleep nonsense is ridiculous. I agree we are out here looking tired while these folks are probably getting 8-10 every night lol Faking all of the funk. I am sooo glad you liked the post. I really missed sharing. I am so happy to be back! xo
Getting enough rest is definitely important for being and staying your best!
Author
I couldn’t agree more. I don’t know where this #teamnosleep nonsense started.
Well written and insightful. I’ll definitely be reading more of your posts
Author
Well thanks Sean! I appreciate it.
Oh nice to have you back! Fingers crossed you’ll find the perfect home for you soon 🙂 you got this girl!
Author
Hey doll thanks! Yeah I have found a cute little house just have to get all the contracts finalized. Hope all is well with you. Need to check out your blog soon!
Welcome back! I’ve been away a bit myself and happy to return to be a boss like you. Thanks for the tremendous inspo! xo, Jessica
Author
Aww you are the sweetest. Thanks for reading my post and commenting I appreciate it so much
This is perfect! It is so important to honor and process our big feelings and setbacks, thank you for bringing light to this topic.
Author
THanks Emily. I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Can’t wait to share more
Wonderful reading and story Danie! We miss you too and hope to hear from you more often. All the best for your new home!
Author
Thanks Helene! I super appreciate it. I was so happy to get back to sharing. I feel like I can do it regularly again now 🙂
I stopped missing out on the process years ago and it was life changing. Embrace every step of the way bit and small.
Author
Thanks Jill I totally agree with you. That process is so valuable
I think being a blogger can take a toll on you sometimes and worrying if you don’t post something your fall off the grid. We work our butts off and sometimes we have things come up in life and we need a breather! If your readers truly love your content then they will still be here when you get back! I need to practice this more!
Author
Totally agree with you. The readers are so awesome. I have to admit I learned a huge lesson by kinda having to take that break by default. It’s ok and you appreciate it sooo much more when you come back!
Welcome back, I’ve been missing your positive energy and great content, Danie! I totally understand that taking a break and resting is something we all need time to time. I’ve been very bad at taking those breaks. Earlier I used to use caffeine to stay awake to get everything done and to succeed. Nowadays I’ve given up that caffeine but I’m still very ambitious and perfectionist which isn’t the easiest combo when thinking of getting enough rest. I know I’ve done some good decisions towards better life in that aspect but I still have a long way to go. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
Author
I think that you will work out the way that is best for you and I think that is best for each person. I process slowly and get a bit swamped but eventually wade out of the muck. You will do what is best and that will be perfect for you. You have been doing a lot, I am excited for you and to hear about all your adventures this year!
Welcome back! We’ve missed you, too. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear more about the home buying process once the dust has settled.
Author
Thanks so much Beth, I really missed you guys. I have felt a bit off not writing and reading your blogs. Can’t wait to be fully in the swing of things!
Welcome back! I loved reading about your break and why it was so necessary. Thank you for being open and honest.
Author
Thanks so much doll
Welcome back!!! There is so much positivity & greatness in this post it would really lift the spirits of anyone down in a rut which is the exact affect reading this post has had on me so thank you!
http://www.nmdiaries.com
Author
Awww thanks Nazrin, so glad you feel that way
Learning how to manage through tough times is what builds our character. At least that’s what I think. It’s definitely hard. There are times where I don’t think I can handle it or manage it, and yet I get through it and move on. Good for you!
Welcome back Dear… It’s always good to know when you should take some steps back just to breath and ofcourse re strategise. Every step is Important because you gain lessons from them. Hope to read more content now that you’re back. Stay positive
Great post. Just saw this on the financial diet. you just can never tell what randomness clothing itself as good advice will stick around. sometimes good advice expires, i say. best, MERJ
Author
Thanks so much for checking out the post <3